Q. What is bullying and does it hurt? How do I know that my child is being bullied?

A. In her book, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, Barbara Coloroso, suggests that bullying is not about anger, instead it stems from intolerance towards differences. Coloroso states that it can be hard to draw the line between ordinary meanness and bullying, not every incident or unkind remark is bullying. It's important to help your child understand that hurtful remarks and behaviours are not about something that is wrong or bad about them, instead it is the other child that is displaying inappropriate behaviour.

Children need to be taken seriously when they talk about behaviour or words used by other children that hurt them. However, getting your child to talk about bullying can be difficult, especially as they get older. The reasons for children not wanting to talk about bullying range from being ashamed of the situation, to thinking that no one, not even an adult, will be able to help. "Children usually give us clues. We just need to be tuned into them," says Ms Coloroso. "If your gut says it's happening it probably is."

"Some children have a naturally strong sense of self and are extremely resilient in the face of unkind remarks," says Dr. Jennifer Reesman. "At young ages they have a strong sense of self about who they are. However, not all children have this built self-assurance." Dr. Reesman and other experts, suggest that parents take time to make sure they have a plant to deal with bullying situations before they occur. This preparation can help you deal with unkind remarks and behaviour so they know how to react when stung with an upsetting feeling.

- Fernando Gonçalves

- May 2013

© J. Fraser 2011-….   |   Contact:   Teacher   |   Contact: Webmaster   |    Site Map   |   Hosting: EZP.net